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Open target. Pulled Trigger. by ~theresnocheese:icontheresnocheese:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Horror & Macabre > Open


By my hair you pulled me through its silver lining
Left an empty patch on my head.
Another target…BANG I’m dead.
You lost me to the angry depths of ebony black silence.
Shades of grey turning red.
Pulled the trigger…
BANG I’m dead.
Betrayal and anger all that’s left of my halo less presence,
Blind are those who looked to the light.
Retina damaged.
Lost the fight.
BANG.
It kills me while the anger fills me tonight.
©2005-2009 ~theresnocheese
:icontheresnocheese:

Author's Comments

This piece is quite different to what i usually submit. I wrote it a while ago, in a time of high emotion as you will probably be able to tell...

I couldn't decide whether to post it here or not but decided to just to get some other people's views on my form of writing...so comments would be greatly appreciated.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconlost-in-wonderment:
~lost-in-wonderment May 8, 2005, 5:00:15 AM
great rythmn and beat, I love the way you've described silence; ebony black. Beautiful. Sorry you had to go through a time like that tho, :hug: Hope you've in a better place these days.
:icontheresnocheese:
~theresnocheese May 8, 2005, 7:42:38 PM
Thankyou so much for that comment... i am in a much better place these days thankfully :blowkiss:

--
"What if the hokey pokey is what it's all about?"
:icondustbunny2:
~dustbunny2 May 12, 2005, 12:31:53 PM
i like this a lot
im not so much for other peoples writing, but i like the way this goes

--
*who sprinkled you with horny dust?*
:icontheresnocheese:
~theresnocheese May 13, 2005, 4:52:59 AM
Thankyou :)

--
"What if the hokey pokey is what it's all about?"
:icononceonly:
~OnceOnly Jun 18, 2005, 1:41:52 AM
I dont usually like much poetry, but this is good ^_^

--
That fateful Eve when...
the trees stank of sunset and camphor
Their lanterns chased phantoms and threw
An inquisitive glance, like the shadows they cast
On my love picking rue by the light of the moon!
:icontheresnocheese:
~theresnocheese Jun 19, 2005, 5:38:41 AM
thanks boy

i'm glad you read it :)

--
"What if the hokey pokey is what it's all about?"
:iconkuriouskitty:
~KuriousKitty Aug 2, 2005, 9:43:24 PM
wow. i love your style of writing.

--
:horns::boogie:Floating on Sensation's Wings:devilish::peace:
You know you wanna. . .[link]
Check out my stock![link]
:icontheresnocheese:
~theresnocheese Aug 8, 2005, 1:52:01 AM
thankyou :)

:blowkiss:

--
"What if the hokey pokey is what it's all about?"
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